I'm a bit tired but I'm gonna spare some time for this.

Sometimes we all need a little scolding to do things well, to maximise our capability. Ever had your day ruined, your emotions all messed up just because of a small reprimand?

Today was one of those days. Had to admit that I was always wondering what was I doing. Doing it right, or not. How come everything's picture perfect yet there's many things to decipher from that?

A smile so wide yet a crushing heart. I wonder how others do it. The strength within. It's really not easy after all. Reading all those quotes about smiling but deep down inside it's hurt and sorts.. Nothing beats experiencing it yourself. Putting up a strong front when you just want to crumble and fall.. All the blood sucked out of the heart leaving your heart shrink dry. And you want to just let those tears fall but that "Great Wall of China" can't be broken down. No one is allowed inside its vulnerable self.

And then there's this one person who almost everyday post positive vibes on a social network regardless if it's a good or a bad day. Seeking the positive light out of every dark day. That's even stronger than lamenting after putting up the strong front.

I'm weak. My heart is too vulnerable. But if you focus too much on your weakness, you will never be successful. Focus on the strength! That way can achieve more! But it's always easier said than done! Easier read and understood but always harder to get it done!

And then maybe, we just need a new environment.

Hams.