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Crystals
filled with memories
" Through those sad times
you held my hands till the end of the world. "
Do It Right
Saturday, August 27, 2011 <$BlogItemDateTime $>

Sometimes you wonder whether you had done things right. In fact, i wonder a lot whether i had done a lot of things right or not. Or was i being such a big bossy woman? Was i doing the right things in spite of my bossiness? Was my bossiness for a good cause? So many questions pop in my head.

I never like being bossy. But i have no choice. I was told to do just that and i was being watched. It's for the sake of orderliness. Yeah i did get things orderly with the best that i can give. And yeah i did get that bit of compliments here and there. But not from the experienced. But at least i got some kind of experience. So many things learned and so many types of human characters i come across.

Then there comes the point where i let go of this. I teach whenever i'm required to. They loved me they thanked me. I never like teaching. But i'm good at teaching. Perhaps the best teachers are the ones who dislikes teaching because they're pressured with getting good results and so if it takes a student too long to understand, it is very pressurising. I have no idea whether you get my point here. I could do with teaching but i'm afraid of failing. What a loser.

Anyways, my point here is this. When your superiors do the opposite of what you teach or don't give a damn. I find that very discouraging. And it happens too much. Before, they could push to me everything. Now, i push back. Your turn to teach. You teach they complain, they ask me. I teach and show clearly, they understand, Satisfaction.

But do you get my point?

I just feel discouraged that my superiors are such a disappointment. Like when i teach newbies to do things a certain way and then suddenly the superior came and do it a different way, especially if it's contradicting or thoroughly opposite, or less strict, or like heck care, i feel like a total BUM.

But what the hell, these people doesn't have good intentions anymore.

HaMie!