Hi blog. How are you? I see you're doing very fine without me. WTH! My stomach is growling man.. My mommy didn't cook anything, i'm very lazy to cook some freaking instant noodles for myself and thus my stomach is left growling worse than a tiger or a lion.

What a stoopid life i lead. Yeah yeah so it's been 4 days of work. I freaking can't wait for Monday. Off day. I'm working for the whole of this week including weekends because i'm a newbie. And i think i hate being a newbie. What more with my hand that throbs uncontrollably. Bloody inheritance.

Somehow i fear sleeping because i knew that the moment i wake up, i will have to prepare for work. Not that i hate work. It was fine honestly but my constant forgetfulness is killing me. Today particularly was a hard day at work though i came with a positive mindset. I stayed back for 2 hours. I was supposed to finish at 8pm but i stayed till 10pm. What the hell. Therefore from here on, i learnt one thing. Never ever expect myself to go home immediately at 8pm when the duty roster said my time is until 8pm. Because 8pm is BUSY time. They need people. Just now was my first taste of it. Fcuk the first taste.

On Wednesday on the other hand, the day before just now, was the day that i felt 'The Crashing Effect'. That's my term of course which means when confidence and demoralisation happens at the same time. And for the first time in my life, i don't know what to feel. Anybody would be demoralised at this moment but i'm just damn confused. Maybe because i BELIEVE and i KNOW that i can do this, that i can perfect it. My supervisor told me that most cried under her but i haven't (at least in front of her but i didn't behind her too. Just some bloody watery eyes). How sweet. Just now she gave me a look that really freaked me out. (Damn this person wants me to see me cry!) But i just ran to the toilet. I am so fcuking determined to not let anybody see me cry at work. Maybe due to the resistance that have been built up in me over the years. I'm so glad i had that experience that made me stronger although most of the time i wished i hadn't had that experience. It all pays off i guess. Everything happens for a reason. And this is why that happened.

Ah! Talked too much.

3 more days to day off. Friday, Saturday and Sunday. 3 to 11pm each. Good luck Hamie.

Fcuk. I miss my virtual life.

HaMie!