A thought that haven't crossed my mind for 2 years passed by again.
I just feel like i'm at a totally losing end.
The thought of having to really work so hard to get through is frightening me.
I always have a positive view about life ever since those shitz.
That that kind of things are bound to happen.
And that you just have to hold on really tight and then finally pulling through it.
But it's an undeniable fact that when it comes back again
All things negative will dominate.
To the point that every learning point you had before just diminish.
And fear dominates everything.

Frankly speaking
I don't think i did well for my A levels.
And i'm so bloody scared.
Is it too late to realise that i really want this?
I can't do anything now other than letting these stoopid dumb tears roll down my cheeks.
It's not that i did not study.
I did.
But things always happen when you study.
When the question gets so hard to do
And you feel like thowing the book out of the window
And stop doing anything else
And rot.
And the stoopid exam results never fail to show that you had failed.
It's so effing demoralising.
My life now depends on that stoopid slip i'm gonna get next year.

The idea of pursuing my passion looks like a hopeless thing now.
And the only hope just shattered.

Hams.