I have never ever felt as stress as this before
To the point that i don't feel like doing anything at all.
Especially when it's heavily related to studies.
God.

I'm suffering inside.
I will not miss a day with no tears flowing down my cheeks.
Prelims hit me so bad.
Yes, i know i'm not alone.
But this had never happened to me before.
Prelims is always the moment where i will progress in my studies.
And to still stick to my sucky results this prelims hit me so so bad.
I'm not even sure whether i will get decent results for 'A's.
As for now, i can't even see a glimpse of the University.

This anxiety is just too much for me to hold myself together.
I could just feel blood rushing fast in my veins.
And gushing into my heart.
And when i think of the fact that there is only less than a month left,
is Horrifying.

I feel so cold.
And i just want to sit hunched up in a corner.
Just crying.

Sitting through GP is tough, wondering whether i will ever make it.
Sitting through Maths is like it's so easy but what had gone wrong?
Sitting through Chem is like i know that but why?
Sitting through Malay is like why had i not been very careful and focused?
Sitting through History is like why why why?

There's nothing you see in this ignorant student.
She doesn't care, does she?
It's all up to her.
But just try.
Read her mind.
But only God knows how Crazy it feels inside.
How devastated this heart is.
How this mind is in a whirlwind.

She's taking it slow.
And she worries whether it's too slow.
Cause everybody's moving forward.
And she's falling back.
Behind.
And getting further.
And even further.

It helps when a friend is in the same situation as you
And calls up even when she herself is in the same situation as you.
I wonder where she get her strength from.
Thanks for the morning call yesterday.
Loves.