Something's really not right with me these past few weeks.
And i really really hope that some people whom i can't deny that i love them a lot more than anyone else would read this
Though i'm not too sure if they still remember the url
I am forgettable that's all and that's why

I just prove to be a very good secret keeper these past few weeks especially with regards to my problems and my feelings of stress, depression, frustration, anxiety and whatnots.
I am so sorry.
To those who are mostly around me for most of the time, you know that i ain't myself these past few weeks.
To those who sees me occasionally, on and off, time to time, i am such a happy freako who looks almost problemless.
But this is what you have to know

I try to keep up a happy face
Cause i don't wanna be sad again especially after My April Crisis.
I try to be okay cause i know that MAC haven't ended.
And now that it seems almost entirely over,
I feel so lonely

It seems that any form of diary is the best way for me to let out anything without speaking.
And therefore, right here, in my online diary, is where you can get to know anything that is totally wrong with me.
And right now is the time where i know i should just let out.

Yesterday was the last straw i would take from myself
And after this, i'm not going to ever forgive myself if i ever make the same stupid mistake again.
It hurts me to hurt myself and it hurts even more to hurt anyone i love so much.
I never meant to let those words come out from my mouth.
Indeed, words are very powerful.
How would i know right?
But i know that i have to say this face-to-face and get it cleared and my guilt off myself.

Studies and exams are horrendous
And my results never fail to tell me that I Failed.
I wish i could just stop here.
Right at where i am at the edge of breaking free.
Why..

What would happen next year
I totally do not know

I feel weak inside...
And i feel like flooding my whole room right now
With water from my eyes