Sunday, May 3, 2009 <$BlogItemDateTime
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Today i feel so mad.
Mad with everything in this world.
Mad with my life.
I was so emo all because of you-know-who and my brother.
A promise at 10.30pm was late for like 1 and a half hours.
Who won't be mad.
And tomorrow i can't go out because my mother don't allow.
Told him that and never replied until like 2 hours later.
But i still love him.
I love him a lot.
I'm starting to see and understand the logic of why everyone is telling me not to continue on with him.
But i love him too much.
He promised me too much.
Yes i don't deserve this but he's so dear to me.
He's my first love and i don't deserve to be treated like that.
But i see hope.
Although it's dangerous.
In my frustration and cheeks wet with tears.
I looked up at the sky.
It was blue from far..
And as i looked nearer at the clouds like somehow right above my head..
I saw something i haven't seen for a long time.
A half moon.
And the clouds are red.
And 3 hours later it rained..
Right at that point in time i felt like going out
I wanted to go to West Coast Park
And enjoy this scenery alone.
I want to be alone.
I switched off my phone too..
But i can't go out..
If only i haven't see things before and if only my mother allows..
I would have gone out..
Like how i did last year when i got frustrated with my brother.
Although there's nothing there..
There is the time alone..
And the sound of the wind and the sea and the sight and the view of the sea...
That's all i need to calm me down..
She love you so much..
Why can't you understand?
Why can't you just let go of her..
The person who does not love you anymore
And give some attention to the person who love you so much
And who needs help in love..
Something which she had never been through in her entire life?
Why can't you make her first love special?
Why does she have to wait in agony...for you?
Why does she always have to be in doubt?
She understands..but she don't.
Give me some love.
HaMie!