Hmm.. today, my blog entry is not going to be so emo and depressed. Today i'm going to be happy and joke around like those times before he entered my life. But before that i would like to say something. I actually cried again just now (at about 10pm) for like 1 minute and 4 tear drops ran down my cheeks. 2 tear drops from each eye. Hm. And why do i even bother counting? Good point. Or is it good question? Argh! My English suck to the core. 

Actually it's been a long time since me and him had a proper conversation. About 2 or 3 days. Just now - ok wait. Let me just define proper conversation. Proper conversation in "HaMie's LaMe DicTioNary cum PicTioNary" means that a sms chat or talk-talk conversation that is long and has content. A conversation that is not a proper conversation is a conversation that is fished up. As in like i ask a question, you answer and ask me back the same question, i replied and you said "ouh..ok". That's it. The conversation stops there because apparently the party that said "ouh..ok" do not want to continue with the conversation. So yeah. Me and him. We haven't had a proper conversation for 2-3 days. I don't bother counting days. Tear drops and minutes are easier to count. 

So..yeah. Only today, we had a proper conversation. But i've been quite mad at him and so it's like - i don't know... Sometimes i just can't help it. I was always trying to make him mad and make him remember his problem all over again. But what the hell man.. I'm also affected. How long do i have to wait? I don't understand him although i understand him. So the proper conversation ended up saying goodbye to each other in an angry manner. But i think it's only me. Ergh. What the hell is wrong with me? Am i right or am i wrong? But whatever it is, i can't help it. I apologised at like almost 10pm. First he said, "whatever". I messaged "sori" again and he said "ok..". I don't know what's going to happen, what will happen, what's bound to happen. Anyways after that, - i don't need to tell you. Darn. I just don't know what to do. He said we're just friends but he's like starting it again. Calling me syg and luving me. I'm so confused. You left me confused. I don't know what to do! I'm just so sorry i was harsh just now. I don't mean it. I just want to know how much you treasure me. But maybe i just want you to let go of me and don't do this to me. Cause once her heart opens, i'm not going to hear anything like you want the both of us. Just fish off. 

See? I'm emo-ing again. 

HaMie!