Now i'm feeling extremely tired but i'm still like staying up. For what? Just to blog. Is that sweet or what? 

Today was a day not that ideal whereas yesterday was a day that's very ideal. What's the difference? Alright. Bear with me. 

Yesterday, i woke up late. My alarm clock was supposed to wake me up at 5am but i didn't wake up at all although it's been ringing for 5 mins interval until 5.30am. In fact, i NEVER woke up to that alarm clock. I don't know how..but somehow that alarm clock had became a normal sound to my snoring soul so i wasn't shocked by it. Get the idea? My biological alarm clock had completely dysfunction since so long and i had also become quite immune to the human alarm clock. Imagine that. But at last i do wake up to the human alarm clock as it was like so loud and shouting. So every morning i will wake up to the frustrated sound of the human alarm clock. Sometimes i will just be awake at 6am. And i'm supposed to catch the 6.40am bus to Clementi. 

Yesterday, stoopidly, i bathed for like half an hour. I woke up at 6am, so by the time i finished bathing was like almost 6.30am and i had to rush big time. And i never prepare my uniform also. Deng... It's Monday too, for goodness sake. Yeah. So 6.40am i leave my house with a quite thin chance of getting the bus on time. I just left my block and guess what i forgot to take? My ez-link. So i climb the stairs up to the 4th floor while calling my brother to help me take the card. And i was like some mad woman knocking on the window to ask my brother to speed up. Got the card and i ran down back, panting. Brisk walk to the bus stop. I wonder why i did that. I already missed my bus. So 6.50am then the bus came. I was like cursing the bus cause it kept stopping and at the stop after mine, an endless group of people seem to be boarding the bus and it's so damn frustrating cuz now i had to rush for my 7am train. I missed it anyway. Let's just skip okay. I wasn't late for school though. Had to run into the school then wear the freaking tie after flag raising. Sweating and panting like some dog. And i didn't take my medicine also. Shit ass. 

Amazingly however, i can still focus in class although Monday blues had hit me hard in the very morning. I didn't sleep for the whole day in class and my attention was utmost. I was awake and i paid attention to every lesson. I didn't play Bingo at all. That's good right. I didn't even sleep in band also. I managed to do a lot of things man.. But in the night when i was doing my History essay, i slept after finishing 2/3 of the essay. On the floor. 11pm. All the way until 5am when my mother woke me up. 

But still i had to rush. Missed my bus but didn't miss my train. Ironically for a 6 hours worth of sleep, i still sleep in class. 3 and a half hours of sleep kept me awake all the way. What the fish? What theory is this man?? So i guess that's why i'm still awake at this hour. 

Today school ended at 4pm because there's no Malay lesson and no band practice. Met Fadhilah at CCK Polyclinic to go to her house to borrow some History notes for my stoopid re-re-test. How can the school do this to me man? I am like such a pathetic soul. And the test is like on Thursday. Can they give me some mercy? I got a ton of work to do, band practices are like everyday until 8pm and my eyes are ever so tired and my body is longing for the bed so much. 

Sometimes this just make me regret going to JC. But i don't want to. I know poly is not my thing. You know what? Might as well don't study at all. Get married and have a big family with lots of children. Yep that's what i want. I don't want to have a maid too. And people say it's impossible for a careerwoman to have a big family and be successful in their career as well. So guess what? I might as well stop studying. Waste my blardy timee. Fish off man...   

Officially pessimistic today.

Shape up or shift out.

Put on a positive mindset.

Or else i'm gonna kill you Hamimah.

A few more months only. And SYF's 8 more days only. 

You can do this. 

HaMie!