Been debating with myself whether i should post anything today or rather yesterday also. But as you can see, i gave in to the angel. I posted up something. I dunno why i don't want to post anything. Maybe the idea of a dead blog fantasizes me. But on the other hand, i also got nothing to tell you. Because compared to the length of time between the previous previous post and the previous post AND the length of time between the previous post and today's post, the latter seem to be far less productive than the former. Hope you get it. Anyway, why i give in to the beautiful angel? Well because i love it when my hands move around the keypads. Tried writing some crap bullshit on word but it turned out very crappy and bullshity. And so i stop and also the word system seem to lag because the first alphabet take 3-5 alphabets i type to actually appear on the screen. So frustrating.

Anyway, like i said, there's nothing amazing about me for the length that i have left you and so there is practically nothing for me to talk about or brag about or rant about or bitch about (do i bitch?) or complain about or complement (compliment?) about or whatever about. The least i can do is drag about a simple thought or topic like i always do and like i just did.

Oh. There is one thing i can talk about though. Prom. Which was yesterday and in my position, it would be best said just now. I didn't go of course or else i wouldn't be here and i would have brag about my prom stuffs in previous posts. Sad life. But at least i will have life next week. Hah. To the hospital. Blorhhohoho.. Shoo that aside and reasons why i didn't go for prom. No money. No money. No money. End of story. Money is a big issue for me even if i have just enough for something. Because - of course la right...must have back-up money also. Where can spend the whole piggy bank on that. Must have some money left also la.. So that can use for rainy day. And that back-up money must be the same amount of whatever i'm gonna use. Bummer. Why am i stressing myself so much? No wonder i can't compete with the entire population and no wonder facebook says i'm depressed. Tsk tsk tsk. I'm crawling back to my emo shell. Huh..

Anyway, i do have quite a number of things to blog about. I've been having insomnia. It is now 9 times harder to sleep everyday. Used to sleep in 10 mins during the school days but in this once immensely long-awaited holidays, sleeping has become such a big issue as i'm like taking 1.5 hours to fall asleep. And i hate the process entirely. Because when i close my eyes to try and sleep, my eyebrows will be like in concentration and it give me head pain. If i relax my eyes, i will feel my eyeballs looking upwards behind my eyelids and it's so uncomfortable. And then most of the times i will think about things while trying to sleep, that i just got so absorbed in my thinking causing me not to be able to sleep. How dumb. After sleeping, i will surely be awake 4 hours later feeling immensely tired but thankfully i will sleep back again with ease sometimes for another 4 hours and wake up for good. But still tired after waking up like i had just been through a triathlon. Like i know how it feels like after doing a triathlon. Very very frustrating you know.

But there's an antidote though. Fatigue. Fatigue have the ability to make me sleep in 10 mins and that is why i sleep faster and easier during school days. Because school make me horrendously tired. Ok deja vu. Have i said about this before?

All right. That's about it for today. And i hope i won't see you in a fortnight or a month or a couple of months or many couples of months or a year or a decade or a century or a millenium. Ah whatever. That'll be my whole life. I'm just joking.

HaMie!

Hi i'm back and apparently blogger haven't remembered me yet so i have to type my whole e-mail all over again. So trivial.

Anyways, somehow i find my bro's laptop screen had elongated horizontally. Dunno how it happened but it sure look like it ay. So second week gone and that would be 10 - 2 = 8 wasted days. But at least i have newspapers all over me. Only that i don't have guts since i'm looking for something big and - i dunno. Haiz.. What a loser. Did talk to the phone twice. Not to the phone but to the person on the other line of course but first was *look at the phone* WTF and second was "oh the post had been taken up". Padan muke kau Hamimah! hAHA. But frankly i was relieved when the woman on the other line said that. Dunno why but that's just me. I wish that money grows on trees. And like Mat Jenin, i climb the coconut tree and dream and dream and dream of big career, big house, big family, handsome hubby, beautiful and charming kids, classy six-seater car, splendid wardrobe and whatnots and then suddenly i fall down from the coconut tree, backache -maybe even dead- plus nothing came true. So typical of me. That makes me Minah Jenin. Chey.. But i don't think you know but i know that of course i won't let my fate be like Mat Jenin. What a stoopid legendary boy.

Yah. Come to think of it...that's about all for this week except that of course i had moved on to reading Harry Potter and the Half-Blood Prince (in case you had forgotten, i'm outdated). Less than half of the book left to read. I'm not watching kindergarten stories anymore since i'm too lazy to open the tv. Open? Switch on!

WOOW! For a moment i thought i had lost whatever i typed above as i had accidentally pressed the Home button. Thank goodness they autosaved to drafts. Saved my efforts. Did happen before back i dunno when and i was like hopping mad. Hmmm.... Just me. Plain clumsy.

Anyway, something new attracted me on facebook. New game lor what else? Still on Restaurant City as ever but had abandoned it for a bit because of the new game. Rock Riot! Ah man.. Hamimah stoppit please.

I think i will go for now.. Will update you again on whatever i want to update if there is or else i'll just crap away and be Minah Jenin of the century. Ok bye!

HaMie!

Hey i'm back. After 4 days. :D

I'm feeling rather sick but my temperature is not showing and my throat is so itchy with sore throat. My nose keep on dripping at times - i hope you know what i mean. Ain't a happy news i must say because i've been wanting this so badly a couple of months ago just so that i could find a reason to skip school. Apparently i want more MCs despite my 1 week MC from influenza-like illness in September or when i forgot but it's a few weeks before prelims i guess. Who wants to go to school man. Get a grip. Pain in the neck -that's what school is all about. And then it's the loooong holidays now and i'm sick at the point where i think i need most energy to ask for job and get started immediately which is ALSO, another big fat problem i'm having at this point in my life right now.

I hate it very much when i get stuck in this kind of situations. It's very true - not it's true after all or i think it's quite true - that i lack self-esteem. Go out there and get ya mouth moving Hamimah! Damn irritating man. Stop shutting up your mouth can? Kay stoppit.

Moving on. Friday was Hari Raya Haji. :) The bunga telor is ready already. Cheerioz! Haha i'm so getting married. No la just joking. The bunga telor is for my cousin who's getting married this weekend which means today. :) Hope she have a long-lasting marriage. :) And oh, for those who don't know what bunga telor is, well bunga is flower and telor is egg. Go figure. I'm bad at explaining. Here's the pic though.

















Beautiful or what? I helped out putting the eggs which is coloured red - so sexy. I want orange for my one. Haha. That'll be in 5 to 6 - 10 years time. Hahahaha. Haiz....just need Mr Absolutely-Perfect-in-my-eyes. That would be a hundred thousand years and eons to go. But there's one actually. Which is totally none of your business. Let's just hope - ahakz!

Hmm...i think i should blame myself for this not feeling well. Been on a lot of ice cream and sweets and sweet drinks and chocolates these past few days. I'm not stressed frankly right? Ergh wth. And oh yeah i got an expired Nescafe tin can on my table and a lot of dump and clutter everywhere at my corner in my house. Ants are making visits on my table and i totally don't know why. Apart from the only one sour sweet on my table which i see no ants surrounding it and the boxes of mints i've finished up, i don't see why ants should be on my table. I'm quite particular about this since i hate insects but you see...i'm not doing anything about it. Ever since i came from school on Monday, i just dump my bag near my table and not caring much. Just took out whatever i want and need and when it's not wanted or needed anymore, i'll just dump it on the pile with my schoolbag where underneath it lies my exams notes. What an emo and depressed kiddo. But then again, why am i stressed? I do not understand.

Maybe because of the fact that i know i will fail my GP? Nothing less nothing more. I am POSITIVELY SURE that i will fail my GP. No arguments. But of course, i will always pray to God that i will get 5 credits including GP. Haiz... Cut it out.

I have to go to sleep y'know. Cause i'm going out later all the way to the east side of Singapore and meet my cousin who gave me that devilish-sweet smile the moment she stepped into my grandmother's house and saw me inside on Friday. Hahah. Makes waking up all the more worthwhile. But i have to wait for my Tikka Masala Kabobs to be ready first in Cafe World.

Okay. Bye!

HaMie!

Go ahead as you waste your days with thinking
When you fall everyone sins
Another day and you've had your fill of sinking
With the life held in your
Hands are shaking cold
These hands are meant to hold

Speak to me, when all you got to keep is strong
Move along, move along like I know you do
And even when your hope is gone
Move along, move along just to make it through
Move along
Move along

So a day when you've lost yourself completely
Could be a night when your life ends
Such a heart that will lead you to deceiving
All the pain held in your
Hands are shaking cold
Your hands are mine to hold

Speak to me, when all you got to keep is strong
Move along, move along like I know you do
And even when your hope is gone
Move along, move along just to make it through
Move along
Go on, go on, go on, go on

When everything is wrong we move along
Go on, go on, go on, go on
When everything is wrong, we move along
Along, along, along

When all you got to keep is strong
Move along, move along like I know you do
And even when your hope is gone
Move along, move along just to make it through

~Move Along All-American Rejects~














Look at the hotcakes. Had it after chem paper 2 last Tuesday. Think this was my first hotcake of the year. Haha. Logical in a sense that i always wake up in the afternoon. Proof? Look at the time i posted this. It's a 24-hour clock by the way in case you don't know.

Ooh my dada feels so lapang. A levels is over! I feel so freed like a bird, not locked up in a cage just like Hedwig when Harry was not going to send any letters. What bullshit crap am i talking?? *Slap my face*

Thought of the day: Have you ever felt pai sey (whatever way it is spelt)?
Well i do. But on second thought everybody does. Like duhh.. Wait wait wait i'm not done. I feel pai sey at a global level. Why? Because as i read through some of the posts i posted up, i was thinking, what the hell was i thinking? Do you all understand? Maybe you don't. I'm just psycho.

Anyways, my head is really giddy. My head feels like it's moving round and round but the problem is my head is not moving. I really need sleep. I hope i won't come online tomorrow. Because we must keep addiction at bay. ??

By the way, Move Along is quite a not new song but it's very very captivating. I should have posted the lyrics during or before the A's to blow my spirits up. So now what's that lyrics for? It's for you to find out. I will only keep it a secret. Shh.

Alrighteez.. That's about it.
Blow wind blow......blow Hamimah to the bed......Zzzzzzzzzzzz.................

HaMie!

Hey ay world... It's me again. I'm blogging too much nowadays. But i'll still continue, to kill boredom and for the pleasure of my fingers. Bad thing though, cuz now you will know even more about me and that's freaking scary. Preferably i don't mind if my close friends read this but it's open to the whole world. Hmm.. Just have to learn how to keep some things i guess. And seriously, i hate posting up emo posts like the one before this. But what to do? I am. An emo kid. Without the eyeliner? Long fringe? Let's make the fringe straight. Ermm.. Black clothes? Forget it.

I freaking hate this dig-into-the-ear earpiece. So itchy. But good audio. Haiz...

There's something important i have to tell. Haha.
Haiz.. My blog's officially one year old. First post started with a hello and no title.
To be exact, this blog was first launched on the 20th of November 2008. So now it would have been 1 year and 2 days old. Happy belated birthday blog. :)
So lame..

I've come so far.. Verry far. One year pass by like a swish of the wand. Heh.
Been reading lately. I'm a bit outdated cause i'm still stuck at Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix. Only a quarter through the book. Actually i finished half of it and then i stop because of J2. Now i continue from the start cuz i have no reminiscence of the story and keep confusing the beginning with Goblet of Fire. Ya pathetic i know. I have Half-Blood Prince. Totally mine. Someone gave it to me. Order of the Phoenix was Kelly's one and oh Goblet of Fire. Think i borrowed both books for over a year already. Oopsy.. I promise i will give it back as soon as i have finished reading it. Hmm.. Deathly Hallows...i'll find a way to get it..borrow library, buy?? I don't want to borrow from people. Don't like to trouble others. I feel like a pain in the neck sometimes.

After tomorrow, i'm freed. Like TOTALLY. Almost maybe? I might be wearing those uniform again if law is what i really want. Got lotsa plans after tomorrow and i fear i might have no time to pursue my 2-year abandoned hobby that is reading reading and reading. One thing high up on the list is definitely cleaning up my room. Clutter everywhere. On the floor too. And the cupboards are full. Time to throw sec 4 stuffs. Can't believe i haven't thrown them away. I also want to.......i won't tell you la....it's something my mother would least expect from me?? Other than that, work is another thing very very high up on the list. I need MONEY to feed on my materialistic needs. Oh and i wanna do my hair. Get it properly done and neat at least. Don't think i'm gonna dye or highlight my hair. I just love this dark black colour. Maybe extensions on the fringe. One strip of pink or whatever. Haha. And then once i have even more money, i want to take on music lessons and i'm so damn curious what the synthesizers do so maybe i will buy it and make some music making real big time. It's been my dreams. Some more what some more what? I'm grinning so widely at the thought of all this. There's so much things i'm gonna do. And i'm dreaming of a red electric guitar even though i don't even know how to play the acoustic guitar. And books books books! I'm so fond of papers and fiction. Thinking of buying the Harry Potter series and the Twilight series. Haha cool cool. And oh yeah movies, VCDs, music albums. Damn cool... I have to get my hands on Classiq! Haiz..enough of this i guess.

But there's also one thing i don't look forward to. The people i met in this 2 year journey. Amazing and fun. All the jokes, random shitz from me, snort, *art, *urp. Damn funny la. All sorts of sounds coming out. Embarassing big time man.. Plus the game of not talking to each other.. Most funniest.. We look like mad people doing hand signs. And i just had to get away to the toilet so that my throat won't choke for not talking. Haha. So gonna miss everybody. Every single person who made this journey less painful. Don't think you're not included. You ARE INCLUDED. Maybe because of the fact that you read my blog? Haha. There's a lot to mention and i love everyone of you. The last few months was the best. Good luck to all my friends taking A levels next year too. Haha. Gambate!

Guess i'll be hanging out after chem paper tomorrow. Yay. Dunno where we're going though. With Fati and Rachel. For the last time. I hope not. Wish i could meet with Wea and Aisyah tomorrow too.. To see their faces and say buh bye. Eh.. What's wrong with me man? Like gonna die like that. Hahah. Will miss you all la.

I'm just gonna get myself totally busy after this so that i won't think of anybody and miss them too much until i couldn't get any work done. Haiz...

By the way, i think Privileged is worth watching. Looking forward to every episode. I'm so going off track right?

Right. That's all from me today? Guess so. Is this a long post? I guess it is. Bye. Talk ta yall soon. Cheerioz!

HaMie!

A thought that haven't crossed my mind for 2 years passed by again.
I just feel like i'm at a totally losing end.
The thought of having to really work so hard to get through is frightening me.
I always have a positive view about life ever since those shitz.
That that kind of things are bound to happen.
And that you just have to hold on really tight and then finally pulling through it.
But it's an undeniable fact that when it comes back again
All things negative will dominate.
To the point that every learning point you had before just diminish.
And fear dominates everything.

Frankly speaking
I don't think i did well for my A levels.
And i'm so bloody scared.
Is it too late to realise that i really want this?
I can't do anything now other than letting these stoopid dumb tears roll down my cheeks.
It's not that i did not study.
I did.
But things always happen when you study.
When the question gets so hard to do
And you feel like thowing the book out of the window
And stop doing anything else
And rot.
And the stoopid exam results never fail to show that you had failed.
It's so effing demoralising.
My life now depends on that stoopid slip i'm gonna get next year.

The idea of pursuing my passion looks like a hopeless thing now.
And the only hope just shattered.

Hams.

Hey world, I'm back. :D
And i'm feeling....I dunno. Happy perhaps? :DDDD
Cause now it's 9 down just ONE more to go? I'm smiling even more widely now. Haha. :)

Anyways, before i continue with my talk talk today, i thought this song is damn cute and funny.
Take a listen.



I'm so sexy in my heels...
Uh? No i don't wear heels. Gotta admit this song is getting to my head. Damn addictive. I don't know what's with the odd part at the beginning, but at least the full song's heard. First heard it on Trace, Mio Tv and kind of fall in love with this song straight away. And my head was like nodding sideways left right left right left left right right left left right right.. So sexay...

Hahah. I'm lost for words. Gotta admit i'm feeling a bit empty these past few days. And the wrong people seems to always want to entertain me. Which is not right and spoiling. Sigh...just when i thought that i'm finally alone, far away physically and communicatively. ?? Beep! The phone rings and my face automatically change. This person just won't stop. Good thing cause it shows that this person got perseverance. Claps. If only it could be applied to something else. But wth, at least my exam's almost over.

I did something weird today. I studied. Did multiple-choice questions from '08 paper and some questions from TYS. Weirdy weirdy weirdy me. Hmph. Actually i got nothing better to do that's why i did that. Can't imagine life after As. What will i do if i get bored like just now?? All i ever did these past few days was tv mainly cartoon, shows on how to count 1 eights, 3 eights... how to get different shades of pink by mixing different ratios of red and white... and oh i learn Chinese! Ni zai nar? Wo zai zher! Where are you? I am here! Hahah. It was a Japanese kindergarten show i was watching on Mio Tv this afternoon with English subtitles. I was contemplating between this and another show on videos showing people doing stuffs that can make them die but survived like damn i dunno how to explain but it's really really good. But still, i chose the kindergarten show. Hahahahhaha. But Trace's my favourite channel on Mio Tv. I was dancing to every upbeat songs like the song above. And a lot of other better songs. I'm hearing the heels song now. Oh no my shoulders are moving so badly. Hahahahahaahaha! I'mm so sexay in my heels...so sexay in my heels.... NO! I don't have heels. Yes i do have actually but not so long like hers.

So what else what else what else? Oh bam it's 3.30 and my mission for using the laptop is still not done yet. Suppose to study chem. Find out the solution for some of the questions i dunno how to do. 19 questions to be exact. 21 correct. So nerd.

Alright. Bye world for now. Love you all! I'll be back soon. ;)
I'm so sexy in my heels....so sexy in my heels...
Shh.

HaMie!

Frankly i still have no mood to blog today but i just got some thoughts in mind.

The last straw, could i ever possibly make it if i have always fail it all the way since day one?
Second, isn't it obvious enough? Hate it whenever that name appears in my inbox.
Third, I love Peninsula Shopping Centre. Especially when i'm the last customer.
Fourth, Bugis Street is so making my head spin.
Fifth, everything is so tofu today. So weak.
Huh?

Chem's tomorrow. Anybody wanna volunteer take the paper for me? I haven't studied a word because - i feel so demoralised by my past results. Never passed at all at least for J2 la. They should have just retained me last year and i could just have left JC and then join my bro in NP or whatever. And be successful. DAMN ME. Stoopid stoopid stoopid me - go JC for what? So now i'm going to be the sampah masyarakat (my bro clearly states that he do not like sampah masyarakat people) cuz i will fail my A level. And my bro's GPA is 3.52

Sampah is litter or rubbish. Masyarakat is society. Rubbish of the society. Go figure.

I'm demoralising myself even more.

And why is my cat meowing? I'm here!

K bye.

Hey world...i'm back and i'm feeling horrendously tired. And just for fun, misteri jam dua belas is ringing in my earpiece right now but my earpiece is not in my ears.. terlalu lemah semangat.. which means to say i'm weak-hearted. Misteri jam dua belas directly means Mystery at 12 Midnight. It's on Ria 89.7 on every weekdays from 12 midnight to 2am..telling personal spooky experiences from listeners.. I want to hear but i can't because it always affects me in the end.. Haha.. And i just changed channel. 98.7FM now.. Better... I used to be love drunk...

Anyways, it's been 5 days. How are you all? Ahaha. I'm doing fine. Studying 10 hours everyday in school from 11am to 9pm. Night study in school cause i can't study at home..haiz.. My head is full but my stomach is not full.. hahaha. Actually my head is not that full and i got a deep dark secret to tell you. But maybe i should not as it may affect my performance in the exams. Haiz...

I'm really hungry now.. haven't really had my dinner. And school food never fail to make me feel like shitting. AH. And when i feel like shitting, my work efficiency will decrease.

Good news for this week. I got 4 marks for my GP AQ. Yay. 4 marks out of 8. It's good cause usually i will get 1 or 2 marks on an average and this is the first time i got 4 marks. Progress kepe.. But cannot so happy. But i can't help it. So i'll tell you more. My sastera essays quality are also getting better. Did 3 essays and got 15, 15 and 16 out of 20 marks each. Hahahah. But that's all i manage to do. 3 essays in 3 hours plus a really little bit of cheating and it's suppose to be 5 essays in 3 hours NO CHEATING. Argh bad time management. Cikgu told me to psycho myself during the exam on Tuesday. She told me to tell myself that i can do 5 good and complete essays in that 3 hours and think nothing else other than that. Insyallah i can make it. Really hope i can make it cause if i get 15 marks for all the 5 essays, it's an A for sastera and hopefully an overall A for the subject. :)

And then other subjects leh? Oh God!

Going Jurong East library tomorrow to study. Hmm i better sleep early to maximise my studying time.. Adios you all!

HaMie!

Labels: anxiety, exams, freaking out, school, supernatural, weak

Music Playlist at MixPod.com

Emotional, sensitive, faint-hearted. That's the blogger we're talking about. Psycho and crazy and something wrong in the head. We're still talking about the same blogger. Therefore, CRISIS i expect.

Name: Hamimah
Nick: HaMie!
Age: 18
DOB: 28th February
Horoscope: Pisces
Fav Colors: Black, Red, White
Contact: hamimah_pisces@hotmail.com

ShoutMix chat widget

» 4e1
» Amnita
» Cookie Monster
» Dinah
» Felicia
» Hawa
» Kamilah
» Kamrun
» Kelly
» Misteri Jam 12
» Nadirah
» PJCSB
» Rahayu
» Sleeq
» TSMB
» Zahid