HAMSMy 2011!
Saturday, December 31, 2011 23:13
Everyone's reflecting on 2011. On Facebook. So i thought i want to do so also though i doubt the life-changing reflection everyone expects.
I think for the whole of 2011, i was just fretting over time moving so fast. And indeed, time did move so fast (because i was fretting over it?). From full-timing at BBQ Chicken and then part-timing... After that i was in school and i quit part-timing at BBQ Chicken and now i've got myself a new job at year end though i'm kind of waiting for another job.
BBQ Chicken was a bittersweet memory. If there's one place that teach me a lot about people, that teach me what school cannot teach me, this place was it. Yeah i'm dealing with customers but that's just one aspect of people which is quite wide. Another aspect is the colleagues. And we go hmmmm... Shall not talk about it but i've become ever ready for anything and any kind of people i might be thrown with.
Sometimes we start at square 1. And then we found out people have different motives. So sometimes we must learn to read between the lines, read behind the meanings. That's square 2. And then we go into a new environment where we meet sincere and nice people. Sometimes innocent. That puts us back to square 1. Ok fine maybe i got a learning point this year. I learned to switch between square 1 and square 2. But new people, always start with square 2. Haha. Now that's regarding to work la.
School was a blessing. School is always a blessing. Friends made at school are always the best. And the higher up i go in my education level, the better are the people i get to know. I feel thoroughly blessed for this. Start with nasty people and always being bullied to getting less bullied, flunk school a bit here and there and here i am in SIM trying to get my feet grounded. DISCIPLINE! First time funding my own school fees, it felt one of a kind. Most of the things i do this year i couldn't believe myself. Being very reserved and all..this - whatever this is that i do is a whole new world. I feel proud of my determination.
Yes. I feel proud of my determination. That's my 2011!
We have about 21 mins to go to 2012. So an advance
HAPPY NEW YEAR!!!
2012!
HaMie!
You And I
Thursday, November 24, 2011 19:50
If only my motivation to study is as strong as my motivation to oust the existing mayor in Foursquare. Struggling much? Well maybe you can say so.
I've been dealing with a couple of upsets lately and quite a lump of anxiety filling up my head everyday. And not to forget some people who have to make it worse. But that was last week but it sticks. Screw that person seriously. I just try and stay away whenever and wherever i can. He's so annoying and i can't believe a person of his age can still have that kind of immature mindset. Ok i shall stop talking about this. It's just bringing me down.
Actually i was thinking whether i should carry on with this blog. But then, I went blog-hopping and what wonderful blogs i see. Such happy people in this world and family-oriented. I adore it very much. It's like so cute. I would love to let out a bit once in a while but then there's that sense of insecurity. Ok fine my shoutmix box freaked me out a bit. It's harmless but i tend to dismiss the fact that my blog is world wide view. You know what i mean? This whole paragraph?
The woes of a teenager.. Or should i say a young adult? I should start writing to my diary daily again. But you know what's up with this things.. You're just talking to yourself. If someone could read and listen to you then well it could lift a bit of a burden but then again some information are just top secret and no one should know. So that's where the blog comes?
I've been beating around the bush. I don't know what i wanna say. It seems that what's in my head don't go along with whatever i'm typing. My brain is whurring way too fast and my fingers definitely can't catch up. Ok ya. That's all. Till next time!
HaMie!
I hate blogging about school. But I just did.
Wednesday, September 14, 2011 20:08
Hey. It's been a while since I blogged. And I only got to blog now because I'm testing out this new blogger app that I just bought free in the App Store. It's cool like what the reviewers said. Quite satisfactory for a new app. Cause usually for a new app to become good, they usually take about a lot of reviews after reviews after reviews and updates updates updates THEN they become good. I can view my blog within this app too. :D
Anyways, school has been 3 weeks. This week is the 4th week. I'm still having troubles making friends. Everybody else seems to have their own friends. Do I look that scary or intimidating? Why are people not talking to each other? WHY am I not talking to people?! Knn myself.
Apart from that, the courses are okay. I love my subjects and one tip is you really need to be consistent and constant to survive. Like always revise after the lecture. That's very important. Though how much you think you understand, just go through it the second time to let it sink it. I've been neglecting Maths 1 a bit but yesterday, I told myself I have to work on it. And so I opened my Maths file and revised. Anyways, I had some company for Maths lecture yesterday and coincidentally it's one of my worst topics taught in the lecture yesterday. Trigonometry. With a higher attention level and some company to help through 'stuck' parts, it's way easier to go through a class instead of being alone. Being alone is depressing. Very depressing.
Ok that's all for today. I shall do some econs and revise banking and finance for the test on Saturday. So fast test already.
HaMie!
Do It Right
Saturday, August 27, 2011 01:27
Sometimes you wonder whether you had done things right. In fact, i wonder a lot whether i had done a lot of things right or not. Or was i being such a big bossy woman? Was i doing the right things in spite of my bossiness? Was my bossiness for a good cause? So many questions pop in my head.
I never like being bossy. But i have no choice. I was told to do just that and i was being watched. It's for the sake of orderliness. Yeah i did get things orderly with the best that i can give. And yeah i did get that bit of compliments here and there. But not from the experienced. But at least i got some kind of experience. So many things learned and so many types of human characters i come across.
Then there comes the point where i let go of this. I teach whenever i'm required to. They loved me they thanked me. I never like teaching. But i'm good at teaching. Perhaps the best teachers are the ones who dislikes teaching because they're pressured with getting good results and so if it takes a student too long to understand, it is very pressurising. I have no idea whether you get my point here. I could do with teaching but i'm afraid of failing. What a loser.
Anyways, my point here is this. When your superiors do the opposite of what you teach or don't give a damn. I find that very discouraging. And it happens too much. Before, they could push to me everything. Now, i push back. Your turn to teach. You teach they complain, they ask me. I teach and show clearly, they understand, Satisfaction.
But do you get my point?
I just feel discouraged that my superiors are such a disappointment. Like when i teach newbies to do things a certain way and then suddenly the superior came and do it a different way, especially if it's contradicting or thoroughly opposite, or less strict, or like heck care, i feel like a total BUM.
But what the hell, these people doesn't have good intentions anymore.
HaMie!
I'll be boastful today
Monday, August 15, 2011 15:55
Sometimes and sometimes most of the time i feel proud to see and know how far i've come to in my life. All because of a job. Money. People might see me as a money face or money-minded. Well yes money means everything to me and money makes my world go round. Imagine la without money, i doubt anyone of us in this age can survive. And also the cyber world. But that's not my point today.
Money completes me, glorifies me, cherished me! Being a school kid before, donning a school uniform, everything's so tied up. While others could have amazing things like gadgets, handphones, mp3 players, i only have a lousy phone with very limited memory and i listen to the radio with bad connection and sometimes i have to stay stiff at a spot cause once i move the connection will be disrupted. Of course i'm not the only one.
I feel proud that i've come this far, getting a full-time job, earning my own money, all my expenditures spent with my own money and still earning an income now. It's a dream beyond belief since JC. My dreams came true, i'm a happy kid. All the things in my wanted list which used to be long-term goals are now possible, in fact they can be achieved immediately. And now i'm even supporting my own school fees. All that thousands and thousands of dollars are all gonna be my own money. Makes it all the more worthwhile to go to school and do my best since i know that this is not easy getting all the money. I'm a very happy person with regards to this. Life's cool. Hahah.
Talking about school. Yeah after like 1 year and 9 months of no school, i'm finally getting back to school next Monday. In a university. :) But not local. :( But still! It's SIM, taking a degree under the University of London Bsc Accounting and Finance. Cool right makcik mimah ni?! I was always thinking how the hell i was gonna get a place in a local university taking accounting since the requirement is so high but what the hell, SIM was waiting for me at Clementi! :DD
I want to study very hard! Get 1st class honours! Gambatte makcik mimah! GGMU! LOL macam paham GGMU! GGMM la! GGMM!!
HaMie!
Thank YOU!
I Tune You
Sunday, August 7, 2011 22:35
Well i thought i had posted twice this year, but apparently not. Heh. I've been on the com - I mean netbook since 4pm just now AND i had also been syncing my iPod since then. It's a long, frustrating story.
It's been ages since i synced. So today i wanted to sync. So happy happy connect it to my netbook and there's a new software 4.5.3 which i downloaded. Waiting and waiting, did other stuffs. Came back, oh wow it just finished downloading. iPod restarts and by accident, i pressed the Home button and the screen just goes like 'connect to iTunes' when it's already connected. Pissed off, nothing seems to work, i switched off and on my iPod but still the same situation. Except with the option to restore. Oh dammit. And i've been restoring until now. Well actually the restoring played a dirty joke on me. Telling me waiting time is 2 hours, and then 3 and then 4 hours. It did take long for the first half of restoring but the second half was a breeze and that was 8pm. So now left with syncing the stuffs. Now is 10.45pm. 2 and a half hours and it just only pass the halfway mark. Can i just choke myself to death? Ok fine, maybe about 2/3. Do not exaggerate. With that, i guess for another 1/3, it would be about 1hr 15mins. That's 12 midnight. And the apps would all be shuffled again. How i took so much effort to arrange them into categories!
Ok off with that. But maybe a bit more. My netbook is lagging toot time. I don't know whether it might due to the iTunes. But it's sucky. Guess i chose the wrong netbook.
Ok next. Maybe i'll just continue what i wanna say another time. Adios. And ya i haven't changed skin.
HaMie!
I remembered saying to myself how i can't believe that i'm 'working' with you.
Hey
Thursday, July 28, 2011 01:09
Had been intending to update. But never did. Was so-called waiting for the right time where the feeling is really there to blog. You know, cause i always blogged crap. Haha. My spellings are a bit off tonight. But the pronunciation should be okay. Haha paham-paham je la korang! Whether = where the. Something like that. But i'll read and edit before posting so everything should be alright.
Well apparently my blogskin is very unfriendly here on my netbook Google Chrome. So i want to change skin soon. Blogskin.com is being such a pain in the butt with tremendous amounts of skins for wordpress. Skins for blogger i noticed have been the same. Guess it's out-trending. Anyway i hate the lecehness of changing skin.. With the html codes and all. But if i use the template from blogger, i completely do not like it.. What gadgets la.. I actually attempted it on a new blog and don't really like it i guess.
Yup new blog. Why? Cause i thought this blog is messy.
Intoxicated.
With unpleasant past memories. But memories. That's what's holding me back. I love memories. So maybe i'm deciding to continue on with this blog? Perhaps. Ermm i'll update more another time. What i'm doing now and all. And i hope that by that time, i'll have a new and better blogskin.
HaMie!~
All you have to do is be unique.
Do what is comfortable for you.
Don't copy just because their's look better and presentable.
It's about telling them about you.
All i can say
Wednesday, December 22, 2010 22:12
All i can say is, little did i know..
All i can say is, what a small world we all live in..
All i can say is, these are adults..
All i can say is, this is how evil one can get..
All i can say is, this is how love is..
All i can say is, some guys just don't get it..
All i can say is, but some are that romantic..
All i can say is, what i can say..
But most of all, all i can say is, i'm really sad
HaMie!
Get me out of here please
Bad cycle no ho! BAD CYCLE.
Wednesday, December 8, 2010 23:47
Jiwang jugak ehk aku ni.. --> previous post. Hahah.
Anyways, i've been on a bad daily cycle which have killed me in various ways since last week. Vomiting, lack of sleeps and sorts. Guess work is getting a bit too overwhelming. But still, i try. Ah must remember to get my last two invoices from TPY.
I mean once there's insufficient people working, there goes. On and on for the whole week i shall have to go. 11 hours of work straight for 5 days this week. I'm as good as dead.
And then to think of leaving this job. Circumstances consequences. Fuxk it's not severe la but it's just those in-my-head thingy that i think about often. Because i thought about this this afternoon when i just woke up at 3pm and staring out my kitchen window. Two things: Self-centeredness or Self-good aka for my own good. Well, of course it's for my own good but to leave one alone handling is like self-centeredness in other's eyes. Overall, it's self-good actually that matters but others is what makes self-centeredness. I know you don't understand but somehow i don't know how, self-centeredness and self-good are somewhat the same meaning. Fuxk. But maybe on the negative point of view.
WHATEVER.
Ok gudnite. For now. I have a "meeting" tomorrow morning 2 hours before 11 hours of work. Tata.
HaMie!
Well i guess what happened was i accidentally locked my heart
and purposely threw away the keys.
Aku musnah kerna cinta.
Sunday, November 28, 2010 01:29
Hatiku pedih bila engkau pergi tanpa mengucapkan selamat malam. Aku memarahi diriku sendiri kerana selama ini aku tak menyambut kembali cintamu. Aku menyesal. Tapi mengapa mereka selalu mengahalang. Alasannya jarak. Alasannya dirimu player.
Adakah jarak itu suatu rintangan yang amat besar? Soal jarak pasti ada penyelesaiannya. Mengapa harus yang jauh berjaya mengumpan diriku ini yang lemah di tangan cinta?
Cinta itu buta. Aku buta setiap kali aku jatuh di dalam lubang cinta. Lubang yang lain daripada yang lain, yang penuh dengan asmara indah. Aku lalai kerana cinta. Cinta membutakanku secara menyeluruh.
Hari pertama ku mengenali dirimu. Hari kedua kau mengucapkan kata-kata indah di kuping telingaku. Hari ketiga ku mendekati soal peribadimu. Hari keempat kau tetap menegurku tapi kau tidak seceria dahulu.
Mungkin kau menyangka aku tidak mahukan dirimu. Tetapi itulah sangkaanku kali pertama ku mengenalimu. Kerana kau bukan orang dekat. Kau jauh. Bagaimana harusku melemaskan diriku dalam cintamu?
Hatiku bagaikan kaca yang harus ditatang bagaikan minyak yang penuh. Sekali itu kau cuba mengambil hatiku, sekali itulah juga aku terpaut. Dan bila ku terpaut, susah aku nak lepaskan. Darah kan meleleh tidak henti-hentinya jika hati yang tersangkut ini kau lukakan dengan melepaskannya.
Mengapa harus cinta itu buta? Aku mahu fikir masak-masak. Tetapi masa tidak akan menunggu. Kau tambat hatiku sebegitu rupa. Tapi kau dikecewa. Kini ku pula kecewa.
Tomorrow maybe? Please.
HaMie!
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